It has been way too long since my last post. I went to Hawaii and when I returned there was just no time to write! I had a lot of catching up to do with my kiddos, and not to mention, we were all sick.

My plate is seriously full these days. So how do I make sure I’m spending enough quality time with my kids? To be honest, sometimes it’s hard to juggle. I work full time at a startup as a Go-to-Market Operations Manager, which essentially means I own and manage tools and processes that help my company run. I also do some Salesforce Consulting in my “spare time” which means that when I’m not doing my day job, I design solutions and build them into an application called Salesforce which helps companies manage and report on their sales, customers, and many other parts of business. Now that you know how big of a nerd I am, I wanted to talk about my most important job; being a mom.

I LOVE my kids. I strive to give them the absolute best life possible, every day of the week. I want them to have fun, learn, feel loved and secure, and generally be happy. I had a working mom growing up and I look back and feel like all of my needs were met. When the time came for me to have my own children, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be a working mom too. Working is in my DNA. I enjoy it and need it to feel my best.

I did go through a short phase when L was a few months old when I felt like I wanted to stay at home. If I get an idea or want to do something, I pour every ounce of myself into researching it, making a plan, and then executing that plan. (This has proven to be both a blessing a curse.) So, when I considered becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I looked into the financial viability and then went on a mission to outline my plan to become the absolute best stay-at-home-mom that the world had ever seen. I recently stumbled across my SAHM Pinterest board, and if I create a Pinterest board for something, it is serious. I made a calendar and daily schedules and really visualized what it would be like to skip the daycare/work thing and be with my kids all day, every day.

Then it hit me… I would be making $0… I had never gone so long as two weeks without a job since I was 16, and to be in my mid-twenties and not earning a dime; I just couldn’t do it. I realized that the money wouldn’t be the only thing that I would miss. I would miss the challenge (not saying being a SAHM is not challenging!), I would miss the intellectual conversions, the design work, the problem solving, and the human interactions. In short, I just knew deep down that I wouldn’t be a happy, fulfilled mom for my kids if I was at home with them all day.

{Quick shoutout to all of the stay-at-home-moms out there. You get no sick days, no PTO, no breaks, and no bonus for being awesome. Being a mother is the hardest job on the planet and staying home with young children is a fine choice that is best for many families.}

I knew that if I wanted to give my children the best life, and the best me possible, I needed to continue working. The great thing for me is that I am fortunate enough to have a job that I love, that also provides me with the option to work from home the majority of the time. That is the best of both worlds for a mom with young children.

Even though I can take an hour off here and there to take kids to doctors appointments, help in W’s classroom, and attend preschool events, it does not mean that I am guilt free. My kids are in school/preschool and daycare from 7:45am to 4:45pm, 5 days a week. Do I wish that I could pick them up at 3pm? Sure I do. But then I think about what they would be doing at home if I picked them up earlier and brought them home. I know for a fact that the, “I’m bored,” pity party would start pretty immediately. I could provide worksheets, or have them do an activity, but I feel like at school they get 10x more interaction, and are in a position to learn things that I simply wouldn’t be able to teach them at home.

My kids are happy, social, well-rounded and adaptable. Although my daughter is still shy in new situations, both W and L are so friendly and charming. I may be a little biased, but my kids are smart! Like super smart. I am so proud of the little humans that they are becoming. Would they be as smart, and well-adjusted if I kept them home all these years? I honestly don’t think so. Would my relationship with them be stronger or “better?” I don’t think so. My relationship with my kids could not be better. I’m sure when we get closer to the teenage years things may change a bit, but at that point all kids are in school and activities all day anyway.

For me, the stability and the opportunities that me working provides to my family makes any ounce of guilt that I feel about having a full time job just melt away. My kids may look back and remember going to after school care and having their Grandparents pick them up once in a while. And that’s ok. They may remember me saying, “Time for bed, guys! Mommy’s got to work.” And that’s ok. They may remember walking out of their rooms in the morning to find me already typing away on my computer. And that is ok too.

They will also remember our trips to Disneyland. They will remember how excited I get when I talk about having success in a job that I love. They will remember that their chore chart is housed in a google sheet. They will remember our “no phone zone” during meals. They will remember our hundreds of weekends where we spent quality time together as a family. My kids are lucky, and I will raise them to understand that fact by showing them what gratitude looks like.

So to all of you working moms out there, please don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel guilty for giving your kids opportunities every day to gain independence, to be social, to experience life, to learn from their peers, and to miss you, just a tiny bit. Even if they can’t say it yet, they appreciate you. They love and admire you. And most importantly, they know that even though you work, you love them to the moon and back.

Make that money and show your kids all of the incredible things that you can accomplish!

M

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